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Our Natural Way is Negative – Bam#9

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Our natural way is negative – BAM# 9
By Douglas Vermeeren

stop-negativity

It doesn’t take long to see the negativity in the world around us. It seems everywhere you go there is negativity reported in the media, negative posts about people on facebook, gossip slander, haters and trolls online and whispering criticism at work, school and even in homes. It is a very difficult world to navigate if you are hoping to stay positive and surround yourself with inspiring people. Yet it is possible and even when surrounded with negative people it is possible to stay positive if you recognize why negativity is such a big part of our life.

Much of our tendency to become negative can be easily traced back to our human ancestors. Negativity is a form of survival. In order to stay alive our early human ancestors had to be very aware of threats tot heir survival and existence. As a result they had to become suspicious of things that we take for granted. In a world where so many things could be a threat it became necessary to be on the defensive. I guess you could say that our ancestors became so good at it that it became par tot our natural out look.

As things evolved and progressed survival became easier but the habit of being on guard stayed with us. Our environment – parents, community, society – had been trained to be on the look out for negativity and was determined to point it out. Often times the intention is still to protect those we interact with. Think of the last time you spoke ill of someone else to others. Was it specifically to bash the person being talked about it was it to protect the person you were talking to. In my case, I was at an event and someone told me about the history of another speaker. They warned me by illustrating a negative experience they had had with this person. Naturally you and I are wise enough to recognize that there are two sides to every story and often times simple misunderstandings can be blown out of proportion publicly and privately. But I did recognize as this person spoke to me that their interest was more in line to protect me rather than destroy the person I was being warned about.

So how can we control our response to the negativity around us? How can we remain focused on the positive How can we be inspiring ourselves? How can we shine like a light in a tunnel of darkness?

I have two suggestions.

1.Recognize the negativity for what it is and where it’s coming from. In doing so I want to be very clear! This does not mean endorsing it. This does not mean participating to empathize with the other person. This does not mean feeding it in any way. In fact, recognizing the negativity is as simple as saying that you see what’s happening and what the source is. It’s like wet paint. It’s possible to know the paint is wet without touching it. Especially if the sign is big and clear. (But just like with the wet paint the temptation to touch is there. Don’t touch.)

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2. Remove yourself. Continuing the analogy of the wet paint you would stick your fingers in it and draw pictures or sit down in the paint. You would leave it alone. Like the paint the minute you touch it it is on you too. Negativity also sticks to those who stick their fingers in it. Often times it may feel difficult to remove yourself. Especially when the person sharing the negativity has you engaged in a conversation. However I have found that if you don’t feed their negativity or endorse what they are saying they soon discontinue. (As a side note it has been interesting to feel the emotion that accompanies this awkward moment when the other person doesn’t engage in the negativity. It’s slightly embarrassing and often the person being negative tries to backtrack or recall what has been said. These emotions alone should give you evidence to recognize that this kind of talk is not on the right track.)

3.Realign yourself. Once you have left the negative situation it is important to realign yourself to your positive state and mission. This is something I recommend you do often anyways as there are so many times in a day that we interact with negative circumstances and situations that often we don’t even know we’ve encountered it.Realigning yourself is almost like washing off whatever negativity happened to sneeze on you without your control. You don’t want to be influenced by the negativity in any way.

Remaining positive in a negative world requires effort. It also requires constant addition of positive to your life. One analogy I like to use in our seminars in regards to being positive is this. Everyone is like a glass of water that is full of everything we let into our life. Most people have a mixture of positive and negative. This glass is also the lens through which we see the world. (But more on that later.) The glass is full and the only way to get more positive than negative and to keep the negative out is to fill the glass so full of positive that there is no room for negative.

Glass-of-Water

My challenge to you is to find more positive today and fill your glass with positive everyday. And every time you encounter negative follow the escape and cleaning route outlined above – Recognize, Remove, Realign.

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An Awesome life is living your life by decision. You are where you want to be, doing the things that excite you, inspire you and bring out the best in you and in those around you.

#Thescienceofbeingawesome #DouglasVermeeren #dougvermeeren #beAwesomeMovement #BAM #Beawesomerightnow #beawesomepreview #Beawesomebook #beawesomemovie #Douglasvermeerenawesome  #YourFutureisAwesome

What you say can ruin your day – BAM #8

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What you say can ruin your day – Bam #8
By Douglas Vermeeren

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Words have power beyond what most people realize. They have the ability to help us shape our world in both positive and negative ways. If you think carefully about words and what they represent it is is now surprise that they have so much power.

Words are the way we communicate ideas with each other and with ourselves. Words are essentially assigned expressions that represent ideas or describe experiences from our thoughts. In addition, to describing what we are thinking they also have great power to lead our thinking. Words expressed often enough can also become beliefs. Beliefs influence our actions or inaction. If you really explore the way words are linked to our ability to success the power they have is truly overwhelming and should not be under estimated.

I’d like to start with what we say to each other. It doesn’t take much investigation to remember moments when the words of another have lifted and inspired you to become better and take action. The other side of the coin is also true. The words people say may often hurt and paralyze us. Words often strengthen or weaken and destroy relationships. Sometimes the words said to us (either positive or negative)stay with us for a long time and shape how we feel about ourselves and our abilities. Indeed, it is true to say that simple words can shape the entire course of our life.

More important that what other people say to us is what we say to ourselves. There is an ancient saying attributed to the Samurai which says that, “When we conquer the enemy within, no enemy from without can destroy us.” While it is true that others may encourage or discourage us their words have limited power until we decide to repeat them to ourselves with certainty.

The more often we repeat words to ourself the more solidly fixed they become in our mind. As we partner those words with evidence or experiences that support those ideas in our mind the more those ideas become beliefs. Once the beliefs become stronger in our mind they influence our actions which in turn dictate our outcomes and results. Naturally the stronger the belief becomes the more significant and major actions we are willing to take.

My challenge to you today is to carefully observe your language and notice carefully when you use words or phrases that are not in line with your goals. Recognize also the negative talk from others and decide that you will not give it credibility to take root in your thoughts. Everything you think about long enough will eventually appear in reality. So choose carefully what you will tell yourself and what you will listen to from others. (And there is a significant difference between hearing and listening too.)

Lead an awesome life: An Awesome life is living your life by decision. You are where you want to be, doing the things that excite you, inspire you and bring out the best in you and in those around you.

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#Thescienceofbeingawesome #DouglasVermeeren #dougvermeeren #beAwesomeMovement #BAM #Beawesomerightnow #beawesomepreview #Beawesomebook #beawesomemovie #Douglasvermeerenawesome  #YourFutureisAwesome