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Posts Tagged ‘Why our decisions don’t last

Douglas Vermeeren – What do you really want?

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If want to know what has been most important to you take a look at the realities you have created in your life. What you have created is the result of choices, priorities and decisions you have made. What you are currently are experiencing in your reality are the consequences of those choices. For most people the reason they are experiencing a reality that isn’t measuring up to all of the things they dream about is that they haven’t considered what they really want in the long term. Most people settle for a life a ease in the short term or immediate gratification with a quick fix solution rather than a long term beneficial solution that requires a little more upfront work.  The first step to really creating the life you dream about starts with deciding what you want.

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When you decide what you want in the long term more than what you want in the short term you can make changes that will elevate your entire life.

Douglas Vermeeren – Decision interruptions than rob you of your goals.

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Decisions are a hard thing for many people to make to start with. It gets even harder when a decision is interrupted by people, events, situations and “emergencies” that are not in line with the direction you are heading and the goals you have. One of the main reasons why this happens is that often we only make decisions on what we hope to achieve and the things we want in our lives. We neglect making clear decisions and distinctions about the things we don’t want. As a result we often sacrifice what we want most for the things that we allow to interrupt us.

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There is a significant power in learning how to say NO and in establishing boundaries. It has been wisely observed that unless we fill our time with the things that are high priority your time will get filled up with trivial. In the PPM (Personal Power Mastery) seminars we discuss this phenomenon as we talk about being proactive. If you don’t decide what your boundaries are you will have none. You will be become the victim of the needs of others. I have often declared that reactive people become the slaves of proactive people. But they are also the slaves of other reactive people. Unless you have boundaries clearly set you can become a victim of the emergencies and challenges that others experience as well.

I’m not saying don’t ever help or respond to those in need. Do that. But have a plan in place ahead of time so that you can empower other people rather than enable then. As I interviewed the 400 top achievers I was surprised to learn that each one of them had boundaries in place when it came to rescuing others and providing aid. They had a system rather than a knee jerk reaction.

They also said NO regularly. If you have trouble with this have a polite phrase that you can memorize and repeat without having to think about it. Something simple like, “Thank you for thinking of me, but unfortunately I won’t be available for that.” Often as other experience you establishing boundaries their level of respect for you and your time will elevate. As a side effect in your future interactions they will value you and your time at higher level.

With a limited number of hours in a day, week, month, Year and lifetime you can’t afford to waste it by saying yes to things that pull you off course from your mission.

Douglas Vermeeren – Our best self gives us our best outcomes.

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Often the decisions we make day to day come either from habit (the decisions that we always make without thinking) or our of crisis or necessity (urgent pressing matters that need our attention.) As a result the outcomes that we experiences and the consequences they bring pretty much keep us where we have always been or put us in a state of stress. Very seldom are accidental decisions likely to create powerful outcomes for us.

Douglas Vermeeren PPM 31As decisions are the important transition moment of bring our thoughts into reality it is important that the important ones be made with care. We cannot randomly approach important issues and expect that they will take us to our best results.

Within each of us is a better self. We have caught glimpses of that person from time to time. We know he or she is there and quite frankly eager to get out. When we are our best self we feel great and inspired. We know that this best self has important contributions to make to our wellbeing and the world around us.  However to have that best-self come forward requires effort. Our best self doesn’t automatically appear unless we proactively decide to allow them forward.

Most often we settle to have our average self solve problems quickly because we are Impatient.  We allow our average self to maintain relationships because its quicker. We let our average self rush through our day because they are more or less efficient and its comfortable.

While this may work occasionally it rarely gives us the life we really want and deserve.

You will soon find that getting your best self to make decisions will make your life easier and more rewarding although it requires more effort at first.

The next time you are making an important decision ask yourself am I settling with the choice my average self is making or is my best self choosing the best path?

Warning: Mos tot the time the decisions your best self would make will take more time, more effort and more commitment. But as the old saying goes it’s better to do something right the first time than to have to repeat it.

 

Decisions and the power to change everything – BAM#11

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decision

Decisions and the power to change everything – BAM#11
By Douglas Vermeeren

You are just a new decision away from new possibilities in your life. All things change in the moment of decision. Many people recognize this truths yet very few people make real decisions to start living the life they’d prefer and feel they deserve. Why is that? And for those that do attempt to make a new decision why is it that they have so much difficulty making those decisions stick?

One of the definitions I like regarding decision is that it is a conclusion drawn after consideration. So if now is the time you’d like to bring some of the less desirable situations in your life to a conclusion this article is for you.

Here are 3 tips to keep in mind when deciding to move forward on what you want in life.

1)What you expect you get. As you embark on this new decision you need to expect to succeed. You need to expect that people and things will fall into line to help you. You need to expect that when things get difficult you will find a way through and you will succeed. Expecting tough moments and preparing ahead of time mentally is important. Most people stop trying to achieve their goals because they hit a difficult moment. Expect that those moment will arrive and have a strategy for breaking through. (More on strategies later.)

2)Decisions are not decisions until they have action attached. When action is attached to a decision it gains momentum. As you begin to move forward and take a step into the unknown the universe conspires to help you. Action always has consequence and bold action towards good things always comes with reward.

Your mind also recognizes the forward movement into action and develops confidence that you will actually achieve what you decided to do.

In our Personal Power Mastery seminar we talk about the importance of consistent progress. If you add new and regular activities that take you in the direction of your decision you will stay motivated to continue forward. People are happiest when they are progressing and there is a lot of strength gaining if you recognize your progress towards what you’ve decided to do. In the seminar we encourage our students to have 5 action steps towards their decision each day.

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3)Own the future destination of your decision in the present tense. How we think determines ultimately what we believe and will take action on. If your decision is to achieve the goal of becoming a top sales person in your company you have got to begin by saying to yourself that you are worthy to be there today. You have got to see yourself as the person who has accomplished this goal.

More important that what other people say to us is what we say to ourselves. There is an ancient saying attributed to the Samurai which says that, “When we conquer the enemy within, no enemy from without can destroy us.” While it is true that others may encourage or discourage us their words have limited power until we decide to repeat them to ourselves with certainty.

Your words must support this. You’ll have to eliminate all fluffy conversations where you say, “I’d like to…” “I hope to…” “I should…” “I could…” “I Would…” You need to start thinking and speaking in terms of “I am.”

Here’s one bonus idea that can be added to this point. In the Personal Power Mastery seminars we call it the law of probability. If you want to achieve the decisions you make quickly and in the most powerful lasting way possible you need to surround yourself with the people and knowledge that will make it more likely you will reach that destination. This also includes often getting to knew locations and activities.

The reasons why so few people get to live the life of their dreams is not that they abstain from making difficult decisions. It’s actually the easy ones that they don’t make. Rather than choose the life they want they accept the situation they are in. And nothing changes.

Go get what you want today. It’s a new day and a new opportunity!
DV Photo 1Douglas Vermeeren – Are you ready to level up? You’ve come to the right place. Douglas Vermeeren is considered one of the top leaders in personal development and achievement psychology. He is considered by many to be the modern day Napoleon Hill for his extensive research into the lives and psychology of more than 400 of the world’s top achievers.

#Thescienceofbeingawesome #DouglasVermeeren #dougvermeeren #beAwesomeMovement #BAM #Beawesomerightnow #beawesomepreview #Beawesomebook #beawesomemovie #Douglasvermeerenawesome  #YourFutureisAwesome #PersonalPowerMastery #Personal Power Mastery
An Awesome life is living your life by decision. You are where you want to be, doing the things that excite you, inspire you and bring out the best in you and in those around you.

Written by douglasvermeeren

June 10, 2016 at 10:36 pm

Is your Brain sabotaging you?

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Is your brain sabotaging you?

Is your brain sabotaging you?

How your brain makes decisions

By Douglas Vermeeren

Decision is the greatest moment on the path to achievement. If you want to have any degree of success in your life it will all come down to the smaller moments of decision. What you decide today is the hinge that dictate what doors will open for you in the future.

But how are those decisions made? While a comprehensive discussion of the decision process is beyond the scope of this brief blog post, let me share a few ideas from brain science that may be helpful.

The design of the brain is divided into three parts. Each of these parts is considered by experts to reflect evolutionary developments and as such the base or beginning parts have greater control over the later developments.

Your Reptilian Brain

This first brain is also considered the base or foundational brain. This part of the brain is also known as the brain stem, reactive brain or the reptilian brain.  It got the name reptilian brain because it resembles the brain shape found in reptiles.  This first brain governs all of the body function basics and a few other things. 1

When interacting with the outside world it seeks to answer the three F’s of survival.  Will it Fight with me? Is it Food? and can I Fornicate to reproduce with it? These three considerations are what has led to the survival of our species. While many experts suggest that there are several areas of the brain that process and deal with emotion, these basic instincts of survival at this stage of the brain are very emotionally charged. As a result this level of instinctive decision making is also very emotionally charged.

Just look at those about to fight, or those without food and certainly those who are sexually aroused and you will know what I mean when it comes to emotional charged individuals.

The Mammalian Brain

The second brain or next level of the brain is known as the Mammalian, social brain or limbic system. This part of the brain is where complex emotions are sorted out. It is also where we gain the skills to interact with others and the ability to operate as a community. A lot of our social learning and understanding of how to get along are developed in these areas of the brain.

The Cognitive Brain

Up until now the parts of the brain that we have talked about focus on survival, cooperation and emotions, with each level becoming more complex. This next stage of the brain is the first level that begins to separate emotion from logic and look at problems and thinking in analytical ways. This part of the brain enables us to reason and be objective.

Understanding these three parts of the brain gives us a keen insight into how decisions are made and maybe more importantly why some decisions don’t stick in the long term.

When we make a decision we generally consider things in our cognitive brain. we explore the logic and the rational reasons for selecting a choice. Often we even weigh long term possibilities and try to plan for the best outcomes possible.

But then some strange happens…

We run into the daily events and distractions of life. I like what former Beatle, John Lennon said, “Life is what happens to us while we’re making other plans.”

That’s where the decision crumbles.

Our brain sorts out our priorities and our moment by moment living decisions based on our immediate emotional response, not the long term view formed by our cognitive brain.  Often these decisions happen subconsciously, meaning below our awareness.  We just instinctively decide to do those things that have the most emotional charge to us. T.Harv Eker said it this way, “When the subconscious mind must choose between deeply rooted emotions and logic, emotions will almost always win.” 2

I have also observed in my own life and in the lives of the top achievers that I have studied that this also happens in the conscious mind too. Often we let our emotional choices take precedence over the choices we logically know we want in the long run. It is all a function of the three brains.

In his groundbreaking book, ‘Don’t Eat the Marshmallow Yet,’ Joachim de Posada reports on a study he did of this phenomenon with Standford University. While the book does not delve heavily into brain science it does identify one of the key lessons to creating lasting success is to learn how to delay gratification and control emotions in order to create successful outcomes.3

So how can we overcome our natural programming to select emotion first?

While there are many strategies that we discuss in some of the training we provide, I want to share one simple idea here.

We must make our cognitive decisions emotional meaningful. We must charge them to have as much value as possible if they are to stick and have precedence over the possible distractions in our day to day life.

One of the finest ways to do this is to carefully look at your major cognitive decisions and give them more meaning by answers the question of why you need the results of this decision in your life, what it will mean to you and your family.

And the larger and more significant, and of course, emotional you can make your decisions the more power they will have to stick in your life and the more power you will have to stay motivated to see them through.

Douglas Vermeeren is the director of the SUCCEED Research Center which is dedicated to sharing research on the systems that top achievers use to create lasting success. Over the last decade Vermeeren has interviewed more than 400 of the world’s top achievers, including business leaders, celebrities and professional or Olympic athletes. Douglas Vermeeren is the author of Guerrilla Achiever (With Jay Levinson) and the creator of The Opus (with Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen, Dr. Joe Vitale, Dr. John Demartini, Dr. Sue Morter, Marci Shimoff, Bill Bartmann, Bob Doyle and Morris Goodman.) Currently Doug is completing another film entitled, How Thoughts Become Things. This film will explore the process of how our thoughts become manifest in our lives as reality.  For more on this film go to: www.HowThoughtsBecomeThings.com For more on Douglas Vermeeren go to: www.SucceedResearch.com Douglas Vermeeren can be reached for speaking engagements and training at 1.877.393.9496.

1.Outsmart your brain – Dr. Marcia Reynolds p.23

2.Secrets of the Millionaire Mind, T.Harv Eker p.22

3.Don’t Eat the Mashmallow, Joachim de Posada