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Our Natural Way is Negative – Bam#9

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Our natural way is negative – BAM# 9
By Douglas Vermeeren

stop-negativity

It doesn’t take long to see the negativity in the world around us. It seems everywhere you go there is negativity reported in the media, negative posts about people on facebook, gossip slander, haters and trolls online and whispering criticism at work, school and even in homes. It is a very difficult world to navigate if you are hoping to stay positive and surround yourself with inspiring people. Yet it is possible and even when surrounded with negative people it is possible to stay positive if you recognize why negativity is such a big part of our life.

Much of our tendency to become negative can be easily traced back to our human ancestors. Negativity is a form of survival. In order to stay alive our early human ancestors had to be very aware of threats tot heir survival and existence. As a result they had to become suspicious of things that we take for granted. In a world where so many things could be a threat it became necessary to be on the defensive. I guess you could say that our ancestors became so good at it that it became par tot our natural out look.

As things evolved and progressed survival became easier but the habit of being on guard stayed with us. Our environment – parents, community, society – had been trained to be on the look out for negativity and was determined to point it out. Often times the intention is still to protect those we interact with. Think of the last time you spoke ill of someone else to others. Was it specifically to bash the person being talked about it was it to protect the person you were talking to. In my case, I was at an event and someone told me about the history of another speaker. They warned me by illustrating a negative experience they had had with this person. Naturally you and I are wise enough to recognize that there are two sides to every story and often times simple misunderstandings can be blown out of proportion publicly and privately. But I did recognize as this person spoke to me that their interest was more in line to protect me rather than destroy the person I was being warned about.

So how can we control our response to the negativity around us? How can we remain focused on the positive How can we be inspiring ourselves? How can we shine like a light in a tunnel of darkness?

I have two suggestions.

1.Recognize the negativity for what it is and where it’s coming from. In doing so I want to be very clear! This does not mean endorsing it. This does not mean participating to empathize with the other person. This does not mean feeding it in any way. In fact, recognizing the negativity is as simple as saying that you see what’s happening and what the source is. It’s like wet paint. It’s possible to know the paint is wet without touching it. Especially if the sign is big and clear. (But just like with the wet paint the temptation to touch is there. Don’t touch.)

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2. Remove yourself. Continuing the analogy of the wet paint you would stick your fingers in it and draw pictures or sit down in the paint. You would leave it alone. Like the paint the minute you touch it it is on you too. Negativity also sticks to those who stick their fingers in it. Often times it may feel difficult to remove yourself. Especially when the person sharing the negativity has you engaged in a conversation. However I have found that if you don’t feed their negativity or endorse what they are saying they soon discontinue. (As a side note it has been interesting to feel the emotion that accompanies this awkward moment when the other person doesn’t engage in the negativity. It’s slightly embarrassing and often the person being negative tries to backtrack or recall what has been said. These emotions alone should give you evidence to recognize that this kind of talk is not on the right track.)

3.Realign yourself. Once you have left the negative situation it is important to realign yourself to your positive state and mission. This is something I recommend you do often anyways as there are so many times in a day that we interact with negative circumstances and situations that often we don’t even know we’ve encountered it.Realigning yourself is almost like washing off whatever negativity happened to sneeze on you without your control. You don’t want to be influenced by the negativity in any way.

Remaining positive in a negative world requires effort. It also requires constant addition of positive to your life. One analogy I like to use in our seminars in regards to being positive is this. Everyone is like a glass of water that is full of everything we let into our life. Most people have a mixture of positive and negative. This glass is also the lens through which we see the world. (But more on that later.) The glass is full and the only way to get more positive than negative and to keep the negative out is to fill the glass so full of positive that there is no room for negative.

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My challenge to you is to find more positive today and fill your glass with positive everyday. And every time you encounter negative follow the escape and cleaning route outlined above – Recognize, Remove, Realign.

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An Awesome life is living your life by decision. You are where you want to be, doing the things that excite you, inspire you and bring out the best in you and in those around you.

#Thescienceofbeingawesome #DouglasVermeeren #dougvermeeren #beAwesomeMovement #BAM #Beawesomerightnow #beawesomepreview #Beawesomebook #beawesomemovie #Douglasvermeerenawesome  #YourFutureisAwesome

What you say can ruin your day – BAM #8

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What you say can ruin your day – Bam #8
By Douglas Vermeeren

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Words have power beyond what most people realize. They have the ability to help us shape our world in both positive and negative ways. If you think carefully about words and what they represent it is is now surprise that they have so much power.

Words are the way we communicate ideas with each other and with ourselves. Words are essentially assigned expressions that represent ideas or describe experiences from our thoughts. In addition, to describing what we are thinking they also have great power to lead our thinking. Words expressed often enough can also become beliefs. Beliefs influence our actions or inaction. If you really explore the way words are linked to our ability to success the power they have is truly overwhelming and should not be under estimated.

I’d like to start with what we say to each other. It doesn’t take much investigation to remember moments when the words of another have lifted and inspired you to become better and take action. The other side of the coin is also true. The words people say may often hurt and paralyze us. Words often strengthen or weaken and destroy relationships. Sometimes the words said to us (either positive or negative)stay with us for a long time and shape how we feel about ourselves and our abilities. Indeed, it is true to say that simple words can shape the entire course of our life.

More important that what other people say to us is what we say to ourselves. There is an ancient saying attributed to the Samurai which says that, “When we conquer the enemy within, no enemy from without can destroy us.” While it is true that others may encourage or discourage us their words have limited power until we decide to repeat them to ourselves with certainty.

The more often we repeat words to ourself the more solidly fixed they become in our mind. As we partner those words with evidence or experiences that support those ideas in our mind the more those ideas become beliefs. Once the beliefs become stronger in our mind they influence our actions which in turn dictate our outcomes and results. Naturally the stronger the belief becomes the more significant and major actions we are willing to take.

My challenge to you today is to carefully observe your language and notice carefully when you use words or phrases that are not in line with your goals. Recognize also the negative talk from others and decide that you will not give it credibility to take root in your thoughts. Everything you think about long enough will eventually appear in reality. So choose carefully what you will tell yourself and what you will listen to from others. (And there is a significant difference between hearing and listening too.)

Lead an awesome life: An Awesome life is living your life by decision. You are where you want to be, doing the things that excite you, inspire you and bring out the best in you and in those around you.

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#Thescienceofbeingawesome #DouglasVermeeren #dougvermeeren #beAwesomeMovement #BAM #Beawesomerightnow #beawesomepreview #Beawesomebook #beawesomemovie #Douglasvermeerenawesome  #YourFutureisAwesome

The 3 people who determine how your day will be – BAM #7

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The 3 people who determine how your day will be – BAM #7
By Douglas Vermeeren

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I’ve got a strange hypothesis but so far it’s turning out to be very true. If you want to create an awesome life which is defined as follows:

An Awesome life is living your life by decision. You are where you want to be, doing the things that excite you, inspire you and bring out the best in you and in those around you.

Then you’ll want to know about this interesting key that I’ve stumbled upon.

Each day there seem to be 3 people who have a signifiant impact on how your day will flow. (Naturally these three people do not include you, how you respond and react is generally based on your interaction with these three.) The 3 people I am referring to are the three first interactions you have as you wake up.

For most people those at least one out of the three people are online as they check their email. Immediately the nature of that interaction sets your pattern for the day rolling. If its a negative interaction, or one that leaves you feeling hurt, defensive, frustrated or even angry the ball for the day has been set in motion. As I interviewed 400 of the world’s top achievers one surprising thing that I found is that they do not check their email or social media the moment they wake up. They let other activities and interactions begin their day. Checking emails and social media is a reactionary activity anyhow and starting the day that way immediately puts you in a response mode rather than a mindset where you are in control of you life.

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The second group that a lot of people interact with first when they wake up is the media. They turn on the news and naturally the news is not filled with good news. It is usually a recap of the terrible things that happened in the world while you were sleeping. This negativity does not create an inspiring situation to wake up to. One of my students admitted that she used to start the day immediately with the news and it often put thoughts into her head about whether or not it would even be safe to leave the house that day. While I will admit there are things you need to know about the news often doesn’t share them in a way that informs. They are most often inclined to shock. Most of what you need to know you are going to find out inevitably. I don’t watch the news very often. And nowadays most people find out about important happenings through social media any ways.

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The final and most important group of people you interact with when you begin the day are your family. I wish I could say that every “good Morning” is met with excitement and a cheery smile, but we all know that isn’t always the case. A negative experience at home can affect the entire rest of the day and slow down productivity. A friend of mine had an employee once who had a difficult home life and most often she came to work in the morning numb and trying to figure out whether or not she should be filing for divorce that day. Eventually he let her go and she did get her divorce. Negative family circumstances can weigh heavily upon us and they affect all aspects of our thinking.

Business People

Business people at work

However, people in our family can be supportive and positive too. They can bring out the best in us and inspire us to seek out our best self. I have been very privileged over the last year and a half to have my grand babies at my house regularly in the morning. They have helped me to start the day off great with games and dancing. We have treats and create what they call a party first thing in the morning. It is just time we get together. No email, media or anyone else. I highly recommend this.

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My wife comes and joins us as she is ready and no one feels rushed. She loves to see these babies too first thing too. Everyone is in a good mood.

As its time for me to leave the house for meetings of the day it doesn’t matter as much what negativity, challenges or problems come my way to solve. I am fully charged on positive and awesome and ready to take on the day.

I compare this to how things used to be in my life. When I started with a negative influence I would begin the day in a grumpy mood and that carried over into my activities of the day. I did not feel inspired and I was not always agreeable.

So while you may not have grand children to make you smile first thing in the morning, I still want to share this powerful principle. Find something positive to begin your day with. Be the one in control of your day and don’t be reactionary. Establish and charge up who you want to be before you have others outside of your home that you need to interact with.

And remember that an Awesome life is found in the small things!

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#Thescienceofbeingawesome #DouglasVermeeren #dougvermeeren #beAwesomeMovement #BAM #Beawesomerightnow #beawesomepreview #Beawesomebook #beawesomemovie #Douglasvermeerenawesome

You are in control – That’s why you can be awesome BAM #6

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You are in control – That’s why you can be awesome BAM #6
By Douglas Vermeeren

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An Awesome life is living your life by decision. You are where you want to be, doing the things that excite you, inspire you and bring out the best in you and in those around you.

It’s not uncommon to hear people say that something was not their fault, they were the victim of circumstances, they had no choice or that someone else made them do something. Often one of these phrase is their reason that they are not taking accountability for their own lives or their justification for doing nothing.

Essentially these excuses do three things:

The first is that they eliminate the necessity to make choices. Choices in life are often difficult. Sometimes it is possible to make a wrong choice. When we make a choice or a decision something in your life will change. Change is not always easy. Change is also unpredictable and frightening. You are stepping into the unknown and entering a new situation you have never encountered before. Rather than face this fear or potentially make a bad choice people with a victim mentality choose to make an excuse instead. What they don’t realize is that not making a choice is a choice for naught. In other words when they do not make a choice of yes they are automatically saying no. When they make no choice at all it is indeed a choice.

If you aren’t proactively making a choice to reach out for an awesome life you are automatically making a choice to settle for average.

There is a big lie that many believe and that is that if we don’t take action and make a choice we get to start where we are. The truth is the world around you is changing a lightening speed. If you don’t make a choice you get left behind. Nothing is ever going to stay the same. Think of technology as a great example. Blockbuster video tried to stay with the model of renting dvds from a brick and mortar store while everything was shifting online. The ignored the outside signals and chose to try and resist change. What happened to them?

The second is that excuses release you from accountability. (Or so you think.) There are two kinds of sins in this world. Sins of commission which are things you do wrong by your actions or words. Then there are sins of omission, things you knew better and you should have done but you chose not to. You mean you can do something wrong by not taking action? Absolutely.Did you know that neglect is actually a form of abuse? Neglect is a sin of omission. Not only do people get hurt when those who have the ability to help do nothing you are violating one of the laws of being awesome – leave things better than you found them. Imagine if you knew a bank was going to be robbed and you had the power to either stop them or at least report it to someone and yet you did not. Would you be guilty of what would happen next? YES. Under the California Penal code 31 it is called aiding and abetting a crime. (Other areas have similar laws.) Under this law you can be charged for knowing and not doing anything, even if you were not present when the crime took place.

Edmund Burke put it best when he said, “The only thing needed for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.” The same can be said of your life if you do nothing – you get nothing. It’s that simple.

Lastly, some think that excuses keep them from having to work hard. There is an old saying when it comes to money (but applies to many other things too.) It goes like this: “You can pay now and play later or you can play now and pay later with interest.” Life always has a way of requiring you to work hard for the things you have or wish to create. Some people look for short cuts and in the end paying far more than they needed to. The best way as with things in life is make payment instalments. In other words pay as you go. When you make a commitment to an awesome life you make payments in regularly along the way. An awesome life is built one brick at a time and that’s what secures it in place. The requirement is consistent effort and diligent care.

Those making excuses mistakenly feel that they are excusing themselves from these efforts. What you needed to create today becomes an emergency tomorrow when you need in the future.

In conclusion I want to point out that you are in control. If you have been taking short cuts and making excuses in the past you can change your approach right now.If you know in your heart of things that you need to make choices about and let go of excuses holding you back – do it! The present is called the present because it really is a gift. Now is the best time to get started living the life you deserve and want. So why not get started?

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#Thescienceofbeingawesome #DouglasVermeeren #dougvermeeren #beAwesomeMovement #BAM #Beawesomerightnow #beawesomepreview #Beawesomebook #beawesomemovie #Douglasvermeerenawesome

When A Terrible Day Strikes – Bam#5

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When a terrible day strikes – BAM # 5
By Douglas Vermeeren

An Awesome life is living your life by decision. You are where you want to be, doing the things that excite you, inspire you and bring out the best in you and in those around you.

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But the truth of the matter is that not all days are like that no matter how hard you try and how positive your outlook. Sometimes life is just hard and things seem to go completely wrong. These are all part of our existence as humans.

A bad day does not mean you have a bad life.

So how can a person continue to be positive and seek an awesome life when things hit the fan so to speak? These challenging days will be something that everyone faces from time to time so here are three suggestions on what to do to stay on track with an Awesome when these moments strike.

Have correct expectations – The greatest reason for negative human emotions like anger, hurt, frustration and pain all stem from unmet expectations. In other words, you expected a certain result from a situation and you were disappointed that the outcome did not match those expectations. Think about the last time you were upset with your spouse or a close friend. It will be because you had a specific expectation that they would act a certain way and they did not. Your expectations were not met and you became frustrated, angry or hurt. (We will talk more about expectations in a later article, because I do believe it is important to have expectations and people often rise to what is expected of them. But for today’s article I simply want to share that it with a correct expectation that occasionally things and people will disappoint we can be better equipped to deal with them when they appear.) The beginning of getting through a terrible day is to have a correct expectation that they will occur. The next step of this process is now that you expect that they will show up from time to time is to identify the terrible day for what it is when it arrives…

Identify the terrible day for what it is – So you expected that occasionally there will be tough days and here one shows up. You have identified it. When you recognize something for what it is you gain power over it. Awareness is a massive key to unlocking awesomeness in life. The instant you can identify a challenging day is also the moment you can remember that negative days are temporary. You can also instantly recognize that you are in the circumstance but you are not the circumstance. Once you recognize that the situation will pass and that it is not your identity you can evaluate whether you need to provide solutions or simply let it pass. Many problems will just pass if you give them the needed time to do so. However the majority of problems will require some efforts from you to help them move out of your life. That brings us to the final point….

Move forward and create awesome. Forward motion and moment generally break through most negative funks or situations. It is near impossible for the power of positive and the anchors of negativity to exist in the same moment. I want to be clear that I’m not just saying think positive and everything will change. While that’s a good start positive thinking is only a starting point. for example, if you don’t have the rent money just thinking it will be okay won’t make it so. You need to add positive actions and solutions to positive thinking. As you get moving you will experience a state change as well which will immediately change your thinking and situation. All situations can be improved upon by generating forward motion. Often when negativity strikes people shut down and accept the negative fate. There is always something that can be done.

Not too long ago I had a very negative experience that left me with a bill of nearly $390,000. Naturally the day I discovered this was a terrible day. Some of this debt arose from something that wasn’t even my fault. At first I felt the paralyzing despair that everyone feels when faced with something that seems truly overwhelming, frustrating and difficult. I had bruised expectations of the way something should have happened – yet it did not.

Recognizing that there was nothing I could do in my frustrated state I decided to identify the situation for what it was. I knew this was a circumstance I had to deal with. I knew could get through this with time. I also knew that although I had contributed to this situation it was not a reflection of who I was. Even though I had helped to create an awful situation I was still capable of creating awesome too. I determined I would get through it.

I determined to move forward by exploring solutions that would get me through this situation and allow me to get back on track with creating more awesome. Naturally as I looked for solutions I found several ways to immediately make the situation more better and more manageable. I recognized payment options I could make to clear this obligation. I thought about additional business activities I could engage in that would provide for the debt. I thought about friends I could enlist to help me by letting me sell their services. I thought about talents, assets or gifts I had that I could utilize. Solutions began to appear.

As a result I actually developed a new opportunity within my business. This would never had appeared without the terrible day pushing me for solutions. Often solutions only appear out of necessity. This was a blessing in disguise.

In conclusion, don’t let a terrible day destroy your hopes and efforts for an awesome life. All terrible situations are temporary. If you have a committed and focused effort at making your life better your life will continue to follow the direction you have build for it.

P.S. – One last thought that I think is the most powerful way to shift out a negative situation is to find someone to serve. When you do something for others that helps them it allows you to escape the negative energy of your own problem. Often it is in the midst of this serving that your best ideas for solving your own problems shows up. That’s actually what happened to me in the above the example.

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#BAM, #Douglasvermeeren, #Beawesomemovement, #Beawesomenow, #dougvermeeren, #Overcome negative thinking, #service, #douglasvermeerenawesome,

SPECIAL QUIZ – How Awesome are YOU?

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HOW AWESOME ARE YOU?

A quiz to help you see where you are at and how

you can improve your Awesomeness Factor!

The following quiz by Douglas Vermeeren has been designed to give you a quick idea of how awesome you are currently. It is designed to get you to strive to improve your answers if you are not yet where you want to be. Naturally your answers will change from day to day and as your personal awareness becomes more clear. For this reason it is encouraged that you revisit this test every 30 days. Awesome living is a developed habit that comes as a result of trained thinking. In this world where much of what we encounter is geared towards to negativity a regular positive and awesome recharge is a necessary component of living an awesome life.

DEFINITION OF AN AWESOME LIFE: An Awesome life is living your life by decision. You are where you want to be, doing the things that excite you, inspire you and bring out the best in you and in those around you.

Do you have positive thoughts about your future daily?
a.Always b.Sometimes c.Never d.Not sure, but I am ready to do better

Do you set intentions for your day and specific goals for your life?
a.Always b.Sometimes c.Never d.Not sure, but I am ready to do better

Have you set boundaries on your energy and efforts to keep you overextending yourself?
a.Always b.Sometimes c.Never d.Not sure, but I am ready to do better

Do you do things for the praise of others or for your progress?
a.Always b.Sometimes c.Never d.Not sure, but I am ready to do better

Do you sacrifice your selfishness for the good of others?
a.Always b.Sometimes c.Never d.Not sure, but I am ready to do better

Do you strive to progress each day by taking active steps towards your goals?
a.Always b.Sometimes c.Never d.Not sure, but I am ready to do better

Do you leave things better than you found them?
a. Always b.Sometimes c.Never d.Not sure, but I am ready to do better

When with people do you seek to understand rather than be understood?
a. Always b.Sometimes c.Never d.Not sure, but I am ready to do better

Do you spend time with those who matter most to you each day?
a.Always b.Sometimes c.Never d.Not sure, but I am ready to do better

Are you kind and courteous to those who are not kind to you?
Always b.Sometimes c.Never d.Not sure, but I am ready to do better

Do you regularly feel gratitude and express it?
a.Always b.Sometimes c.Never d.Not sure, but I am ready to do better

Do you forgive mistakes made by yourself and others?
a.Always b.Sometimes c.Never d.Not sure, but I am ready to do better

Do you perform random acts of kindness?
a.Always b.Sometimes c.Never d.Not sure, but I am ready to do better

Are you taking care of yourself physically?
a.Always b.Sometimes c.Never d.Not sure, but I am ready to do better

Do you pause to reflect on the importance of small moments?
a.Always b.Sometimes c.Never d.Not sure, but I am ready to do better

Do you pause to take time to reflect each day?
Always b.Sometimes c.Never d.Not sure, but I am ready to do better

Do you find yourself preoccupied with technology when in the room with real people?
a.Always b.Sometimes c.Never d.Not sure, but I am ready to do better

Do you text while driving?
a.Always b.Sometimes c.Never d.Not sure, but I am ready to do better

Do you celebrate the victories of others?
a.Always b.Sometimes c.Never d.Not sure, but I am ready to do better

Do you find yourself responding to emergencies?
a.Always b.Sometimes c.Never d.Not sure, but I am willing to prepare my life better ahead of time.

Are you a finisher? Do you complete tasks completely regularly?
a.Always b.Sometimes c.Never d.Not sure, but I am ready to do better

How often are you hanging around inspiring people?
a.Always b.Sometimes c.Never d.Not sure, but I am ready to eek them out

Do you find yourself criticizing others?
a.Always b.Sometimes c.Never d.Not sure, but I am ready to stop

Are you taking regularly daily action to accomplish your goals?
a.Always b.Sometimes c.Never d.Not sure, but I am ready to do better

Do you experience activities that make you go WOW!
a.Always b.Sometimes c.Never d.Not sure, but I am ready to seek them out

Do you share excuses to keep you from doing the things you know you should?
a.Always b.Sometimes c.Never d.Not sure, but I am ready to do better

Are you true to the brilliance within you?
a.Always b.Sometimes c.Never d.Not sure, but I am ready to do better

Do you let feelings of unworthiness keep you from being your best?
a.Always b.Sometimes c.Never d.Not sure, but I am ready to do better

Do you trust your feelings when they tell you to do something good?
Always b.Sometimes c.Never d.Not sure, but I am ready to do better

How would you describe your day?
a. AWESOME b.Average c.Depressing d.Chaotic

CONCLUSION and RESULTS: Only you can judge if you are living to your fullest and most awesome potential. For this reason I haven’t constructed a rating system for you to measure your answers against a standard created by me for you. That’s none of my business. The measurement you will want to consider is what your heart tells you in how you can improve and be the best person you can be. This is a process and not a destination.

And if it was my job to evaluate you my evaluation would be simple and is consistent with everything outlined in the Be Awesome Movement. YOU are AWESOME and I encourage you to continue every activity that will lead you to more awesome! Don’t be satisfied with who you are today. The you from tomorrow is excited to welcome you to the possibilities ahead. You are Awesome!

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#AWESOMEQUIZ #Areyouawesome #BAM #Youareawesome #Douglasvermeeren #dougvermeeren #Beawesomemovement #Beawesomebook

Awesome in London

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