Posts Tagged ‘douglas vermeeren funny fest’
I know this is the human race, because I’m in last place. – Doug V
Stupid Motivational quotes #3
A Master has failed more times than a beginner has even tried…
well, duh. Obviously isn’t that what beginner means.
The most important person to fall in love with is yourself. From there you can love others.
So tonight I’m going to take myself on a date.
It’ll be awkward when I pick myself up and meet my parents.
The goodnight kiss might be a bit of a challenge too.
Yesterday someone said to me: “We close our eyes when we pray, dream and kiss. Closing our eyes is associated with feelings.”
As for me I close my eyes when I yawn, have something thrown at me or get soap in my eyes.
Isn’t that romantic.
Obstacles are things people see when they take their eyes off the goal.
Have you ever tried that in traffic? Doesn’t work for others cars, stop signs or pedestrians.
The top 5 Handshakes I HATE to get:
1. The handshake where they won’t ever let go like your engaged or something.
2.Crushing handshakes that lives your crumpled up hand broken and sore.
3.The handshaker who won’t let go until they’e pulled you towards someone else they think you should shake hands with.
4.The person who thinks they need to shake your entire body in order to qualify as a handshake. (Way too excited.)
5. The person who has sweaty palms when they shake your hand and says, “Hi I’m feeling kind of sick today.”