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Your life is your own fault – The power of thoughts – Personal Power Mastery

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Douglas Vermeeren Personal Power Mastery 152Recently I had a lady at one of my events express how she just had a massive a-ha moment occur. For the first time she realized how her thoughts literally had created her life. Now for some this may be pretty clear and evident. You might even call it common sense. But as I listened to this lady share her thoughts with my audience members at a recent PPM (Personal Power Mastery) I was reminded of the way our thoughts manifest themselves in reality and often how they can surprise us with their speed.

I will call this lady Joyce. As Joyce stood up to share her story I could tell that she was doing it with some regret. The results she had created in her life was a separation from her husband and they were now headed directly for divorce. It didn’t look like there was much that could change that. They had both gone a little bit to far and said a little bit too much that healing was near impossible.

As Joyce stood in front of the group sharing her current Realtionship state she began to talk about how the roots had truly been in her thoughts. Little by little she began to shift her thinking as to how things would be more ideal with a different partner. She began to think about how some of the little things he did annoyed her. Those thoughts began to slowly manifest themselves as small criticisms and jabs. She began to share how the more habitual the thinking became the more it turned into comments and actions.

As the thoughts turned more and more critical she began to see how they strangled affection and hope right out of her heart. Every sign of compassion for her mate disappeared until they found themselves here. She was quick to point out that her was not perfect. But he certainly had become far worse than he was through the kinds of thinking she was doing. The more she dwelt on his faults and painted him in a negative light the more terrible he became.

As she stood before our group with tears she admitted that her thoughts had gotten out of control. She never intended for it to come to this point. As she reflected on the journey she told our group that for the first time in a long time that she realized during our weekend together at PPM that she realized what had happened. And in reality she did still love her husband very much, but she could also see why he chose not to stay.

Now I don’t know what the ending of this story will be. But I do know that our habitual thoughts all come with a consequence. We cannot dwell on thoughts for long periods of time without seeing a form of them begin to manifest in reality.

My challenge to you is to choose your thoughts carefully and be sure that they are pointing towards the outcomes you desire most. For those of you who’ve attended PPM in the past you will also know how quickly you can shift your perspective and your thoughts and even the things that currently do not serve you (or even hurt you) can be shifted into something that you want and deserve when you use the correct tools and methods to do so.

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What would you do with the secrets of the world’s top achievers? Would you level up your income? Your business? Your opportunities? Now you can find out because those secrets are now available to you.

Over the last two decades Douglas Vermeeren has conducted extensive first hand research into the lives of the worlds top achievers. He has the success strategies of top business leaders from Nike, Reebok, Fruit of the Loom, FedEx, KFC, United Airlines, Microsoft, Disney and others to share with you. ABC television and FOX Business refer to him as the modern Day Napoleon Hill. 

In addition, he is the producer and director of 3 out of 10 of the top personal development movies ever made. He is the producer of The Opus (featuring Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen, Joe Vitale, John Demartini, Marci Shimoff, Morris Goodman, Bob Doyle and others.) The Gratitude Experiment (Bob Proctor, Marie Diamond, John Demartini, John Gray) and The Treasure Map (John Demartini, Loral Langemeier, Raymond Aaron, Marshall Sylver, Randy Gage.)

He has authored 3 books in the Guerrilla marketing series and is the creator of Personal Power Mastery which has been consistently rated as one of the top events for personal change and development worldwide.

He is a regular featured expert on FOX, CNN, ABC, NBC, CTV, CBC, The Huffington Post, NY Daily News and others.

For more info go to http://www.DouglasVermeeren.com

Thoughts on tough days

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I decided to take a minute and share some thoughts on tough days. Often I get the question from my students on what to do when tough days show up. The question has also been asked do I get them?  The answer to that is HECK YA! in fact, I’m experiencing one today and that’s why I’ve decided to write about it right now. Everyone one gets tough days – even the most successful people who have ever walked the planet. Think of all the people you admire and maybe even mistakenly believe that everything for them is going perfect and I guarantee that they will have had tough days in the past.

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Let’s begin by maybe clarifying what I mean by a tough day.  The following or all of the following can contribute to a tough day and I’ll be honest I haven’t experienced them all but I have experienced quite a few of them. Thankfully they did not all occur on the same day: (This list is from my own life, friends or family or the experiences of my students) But they could happen to anyone:

Comments from a hater

news that a “best friend” betrayed you

A death in the family or of a close friend

Divorce

A lawsuit

A car accident

Mean comments from a dissatisfied customer

Unfair comments from someone who has never met you

Someone steals your laptop

Your laptop shuts down and ALL the information is lost

You find out your spouse has been cheating (look up above at divorce again – maybe an option)

You receive an unexpected bill

A business partner cleans out the accounts

Someone steals your bike

Your kids mouth off

Someone steals your license plate and the cops pull you over

Did I mention a speeding ticket?

Losing a really important client to a competitor

Getting fired or downsized

Being informed you have an illness or terminal situation

being told one of your children has an illness or is terminal

Losing everything in an investment

Getting evicted or having a vehicle repossessed

Being bullied

Threats of violence or abuse

Acts of violence or abuse

Blackmail or manipulation from people who don’t get their way

Slander or gossip about you calculated to injure or hurt you or your family

I guess that’s a pretty good list. I suppose the first thing to start with is that we should be gentle with everyone we run into because we don’t know what they are going through. Life is tough at times and there’s no need for us to become a contributor.

Whenever I get hit by the negative energy that accompanies any of these kinds of things it’s very difficult to stay motivated or on task. I’ll be honest that as some of these things have hit me in life I have become depressed. At times I have become so discouraged that I couldn’t see any way out. My  mind at the worst of times has even contemplated extremes like suicide. If we are being honest in this conversation I think that at times everyone has felt like this.

But staying in that mindset is dangerous. That’s when things become serious and bad things turn to worse things.

The good news about all of the above is that they are temporary situations. Whenever I have a bad day the first thing I try to do is remind myself that these things are temporary. Even the super painful and hurtful things. Even the terminal things are temporary. We will all die but how we chose to live even makes a terminal situation bearable. Recently one of my student taught me that.

Unfortunately bad things do happen to good people from time to time.

But #1 in getting through this is to know that the bad stuff will go away if you move forward and try to create more good stuff.

#2 I have found this one really hard at times. It is to forgive and move on. I believe that even the worst hurtful and angry people in our lives believes they are doing the right thing. Sometimes they feel wronged by a mistake that may have been made or something that just happened by accident. But most of the time this can be cleared up in a safe conversation. If not, don’t sweat it. Try and forget it. Clinging to your hurt and the hurtful person that caused it just causes more hurt. If both can’t commit to repair you are destined to repeat. Send them good thoughts and find new connections elsewhere.

#3Take a break. This has been really important for me. If a day starts bad it seems weird that more bad stuff happens in that day and it gets worse as the day goes on. I don’t know if this has happened to anyone else. raise your hand if that’s you too? But often when something goes bad in a day it keeps going bad. If things go good they often keep going good. Sometimes if things start off bad I actually do a reset in the middle of my day. Pause, take a break. Go do something that couldn’t possibly go wrong and then bring that positive energy back to keep going.

Anyways, there’s the three things I try to do. Don’t know if this helps anyone. It certainly has helped from time to time. I can’t promise there won’t be bad days up ahead. I wish I could create that even for myself. but I’m sure that’s just part of being human. Keep that in mind and never get discouraged to the point where you quit. It’s okay to pause. But never ever quit.

 

Can a person actually change?

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Can a person actually change?

Can a person actually change?

Can a person actually change?

By Douglas Vermeeren

 

Recently I had a friend express some concerns about some of the things that were going on in his relationship. He said it didn’t really matter how much he tried that he continued the same patterns that were devastating his marriage and family life. After arguments he would feel so bad that he would indulge in alcoholic behavior that would inevitably make the situation worse.

 

This post is really to help him with a few thoughts I had since we chatted, but feel free to listen in.

 

Although each of our mothers has told us that it takes ‘two to tangle’ in a fight. I have seen from my experience in the martial arts that if one of those fighters changes the rules of the confrontation that often times the fight doesn’t have to happen at all.

 

That’s what this post is about is change.

 

After talking about a few strategies my friend had tried the question came, “Can a person really change?”

 

The answer is YES! In fact, change is always happening. The thing that is more impossible than change is to stay the same. Even if you argue that you face every day more or less the same way, the situations you face are not the same. Change is happening around you and you are being effected by it. The only choice you have with change is that you can choose to act instead of being acted upon.

 

The greatest tool that we have to create the life we want is our ability to choose.  Your tomorrow doesn’t have to look like your yesterday. You can make that choice. You’ve probably heard it said, that ‘if at first you don’t succeed, try again.’ I prefer to say, ‘If at first you don’t succeed, remember nothing is the same as it was at first.’

 

Most people understand they have choice. The challenge most people experience is that they never invest the mental effort to decide what it is they really want. Therefore their choices and actions never create anything specific.

 

In the case of my friend, some of us do have ideas of what we want but we never really commit to those ideas until we run the risk of losing what we wanted. We then scurry in desperation to find bandaids to hold what we want in place before it disappears. We need to decide what we want and do something about it while it is still within our grasp.

 

If we are prepared to invest our efforts in what we want we will miss out.

 

Each day we make new choices, some of them work out really well, some we learn from and hopefully make better choices the next time.

 

But the only way we can grow into making better choices is to have a valuable destination in mind. It must be a destination that is important to us. We aren’t ever willing to work for things which don’t have meaning to us. When we have a valuable destination before us, then our brains can be convinced to get to work. (Convincing the brain can often be the hardest part. In the workshops, The Neuroscience of Success, I share a really great strategy that convinces the brain called ‘The Council of 5’.)

 

Creating change is a system and process that involves the brain. That process is scientifically called neuroplasticity. Simply, stated neuroplasticity is the brains ability to rewire itself to accommodate developments or change in situations or experience. One neuroscientist put it simply this way, “Neurons that fire together, wire together.” In other words, that which we devote our attention, practice and performance to creates new neural networks in our brain and certain tasks become easier.

 

Heber J. Grant said it this way, “”That which we persist in doing becomes easier to do, not that the nature of the thing has changed, but our power to do so is increased.”

 

So can positive changes happen?  Can a person change their life?  Can a person repair things that aren’t working in their life? Absolutely.

 

So what about in a relationships that are experiencing difficulty? That can change too. But we must remember that both people involved have their freedom to choose. If both are committed, not through compulsion but through choice, there is the ability to repair and strengthen a broken relationship.

 

But change in a relationship is often like growing flowers, you can’t get them to grow faster by pulling on them. It will take time and nurturing. There will still be bad days and difficult moments. That is where a firm commitment to that valuable destination is crucial. If the destination is truly valuable it must stay in focus even during these moments.

 

Change can happen in any aspect of a persons life and it can be the source of the greatest joys to come.  We are not bound to be as we were. We have the power to choose and with that power can come the greatest possibilities.

 

Douglas Vermeeren is the director of the SUCCEED Research Center which is dedicated to sharing research on the systems that top achievers use to create lasting success. Over the last decade Vermeeren has interviewed more than 400 of the world’s top achievers, including business leaders, celebrities and professional or Olympic athletes. Douglas Vermeeren is the author of Guerrilla Achiever (With Jay Levinson) and the creator of The Opus (with Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen, Dr. Joe Vitale, Dr. John Demartini, Dr. Sue Morter, Marci Shimoff, Bill Bartmann, Bob Doyle and Morris Goodman.) Currently Doug is completing another film entitled, How Thoughts Become Things. This film will explore the process of how our thoughts become manifest in our lives as reality.  For more on this film go to: www.HowThoughtsBecomeThings.com For more on Douglas Vermeeren go to: www.SucceedResearch.com Douglas Vermeeren can be reached for speaking engagements and training at 1.877.393.9496.