The 2 Reasons Why You Quit! – Douglas Vermeeren
The two reasons why people fail
By Douglas Vermeeren, Creator of Personal Power Mastery
Why do people fail to accomplish the goals and dreams that they select for themselves. It ’s not because these dreams or goals are not important. It’s not that they don’t really want these things in their lives. The dreams and goals are often worthy and inspiring things that would make the participants life more full and rich. There isn’t a problem with the destination of where they want to go. The problems that keep most people from succeeding is found in two different obstacles they may encounter on the way to that goal.
The two problems that they can encounter can be divided into two groups; Feelings and Fiction. Although you can experience both simultaneously we’ll talk about each separately.
Feeling are the emotional concerns that a person encounters on their way to accomplish their dreams. Often these are manifest as feelings of fear, inadequacy, unworthiness and doubt. However this category of feelings can include additional feelings of laziness, contentment, or a willingness to settle for where they are currently. It can also include feelings of discomfort when it comes to new changes required to get to the new goal.
We will talk shortly about how and who overcomes the feeling obstacle to getting to your goals.
The second group is fiction. These are the stories that people tell themselves that keep them from accomplishing the goal. Another word for these stories might be excuses. Most people think excuses are not based on a perception of reality but rather a lie that is told to keep progress from happening. This may be true some of the time. My experience has reveal that although excuses rarely give power to the person sharing them there rate occasions when the excuse maker is correct. Some of the fiction they are sharing to escape the responsibility of accomplishment is based on fact. In other words the story a person may be telling themselves may indeed be based on real life deficiencies in the plan, the skills, the abilities and the opportunities needed to accomplish the goal. But while there may be real reasons why getting to the goal may be difficult high achievers always find a way around, over of through the obstacle. We’ll talk more about this shortly because the good news with this category is that there is always a way to keep going.
So how do you recognize whether your reasons for struggling with your goal is based on feeling or fiction? Recently I was having a conversation with my 18 year old son. In this discussion he was telling me about a goal he had decided to possibly abandoned. “It was just too hard.” He told me as we begun a discussion on this feeling or fiction conversation. He declared that it was both feeling and fiction that was keeping him from success. I decided to test the theory and you can too with anything preventing you from success.
The first step to determine if something is feeling or fiction is to define it. If you can actually define what it is or what would have to happen to get past this obstacle then it is fiction. It is based on a story you are telling yourself. If you need X to happen in order to move forward it is fiction. If you need X as a resource to appear it is fiction. If you need X to go away it is fiction. The good news about fiction is that you can always get help to solve the problem. The bad news is that if you let a fictional story or external excuse stop you you are coming from a reactive perspective. If you haven’t read about the reactive/proactive theory in my articles yet I encourage you to do so. But in a nutshell proactive people own their situation and recognize they have power to change things. A reactive person gives their power away by blaming external sources and they determine that they can do nothing until the problem outside their control is resolved.
If the problem is based on a story or fiction that you are telling yourself if you shift to proactive point of view you will always find some form of solution of something you can do to either get through, around, over or under the problem at hand.
If the problem is feeling it is always internal. It will often have no reason for being. It will just be a feeling. Feelings are experienced often just because you are trying to achieve something new that you’ve never experienced before. There is no problem with feelings. Feelings are normal and natural. Being afraid, nervous or unsure are natural states. They do not mean you can’t do a thing. Often the result of a feeling comes as you decide to interpret the feeling. Some people get nervous and stop. Others experience nervousness and it ignites within them great power, sharpens their mental capacity and primes them to experience a massive rush.
As I interviewed the 400 top achievers in the world many professional athletes and entertainers told me of the kinds of feelings they would have before performances or competitions. Butterflies was a term I heard again and again.
Power over feelings comes as we recognize that they are just that – feelings. The best way to overcome feelings of doubt, fear, unworthiness or nervousness is to just do it. Commit yourself to recognizer he feeling and then do it any ways. The more you push through uncomfortable feelings the better you will get at it.
So the next time you think about quitting and giving up because of either a feeling or a fiction you tell yourself keep going. The finish line is up ahead and you can do it.
Douglas Vermeeren – Are you ready to level up? You’ve come to the right place. Douglas Vermeeren is considered one of the top leaders in personal development and achievement psychology. He is considered by many to be the modern day Napoleon Hill for his extensive research into the lives and psychology of more than 400 of the world’s top achievers. Douglas Vermeeren is the creator of The Personal Power Mastery program which helps you unlock your most powerful self and created positive changes in your life.
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