Can gratitude make a difference for your teen?
Here is a recent interview I did for a teen magazine. The magazine hasn’t yet been published so I will leave the name out for now. The questions were asked by a teen and I found it interested to think that these were issues that were on his mind. How amazing to see people at this age really thinking about this stuff. I’ll be honest with you at this age I don’t know if I was this focused. We have a great generation on the way!
1) When you are having a really bad day how can you tear yourself away from the negatitivty that keeps coming?
When I encounter moments that are really difficult I try to take a break. Sometimes I will go on a ride on my bike or on a walk. I find physical activity and a change of environment help. I also find it useful to do something that I am good at for a while and shift my negative thinking back to an activity I feel confident in. However, I try to get back to and through the negative situation as soon as I can. Leaving or ignoring a negative thing rarely makes it go away. And to create great success in your life you need to gorw your ability to solve problems.
2) If you do alot of things for others and they don’t seem to notice how can you prevent this from making you feel bad?
The first thing to think about when doing things for others is to ask the question, ‘am I doing this for them or me?’ If I’m really doing it for them then how they react shouldn’t matter. If I’m doing it for me then I should figure out what it is that I really want back from them in the first place. When you do something for someone and then expect them to respond a certain way can lead to disappointment. Especially if the other person doesn’t understand how you are hoping they’ll respond. Sometimes it can be a lot easier to just be upfront and explain to the other person what you’d like to have happen. Then they can know how to respond. All frustrations, negativity and anger that we ever have is linked to moments when our expectations are not met. We have to recognize that people won’t always meet those expectations. But it will be easier when they know what we really want.
3) If you are someone who typically keeps your emotions to yourself how can you break this haboit and be more vocal of gratitude or positive reenforcement?
There are many ways ot express gratitude. While vocal expressions of gratitude is one way it is not the only way. Many times the strongest gratitude is not expressed through words. It can be through our actions, written appreciation and even through being a good listener. The most effective way to feel gratitude is always the method that makes you feel most fulfilled.
4) If someone you care about is going through tough times what is the best way you can help?
The best way I have found to help others in a difficutl situation is to just be a real friend. When you genuinely care about someone and they can feel it there are often very few things you can do wrong in trying to cheer them up. As part of this I find that reminding a person they are cared for and telling them why you appreciate them can make a big difference.
5)What tips are there to feel gratitude daily?
The best tip that I have to feel gratitude and recognize more things to be grateful for everyday starts with stopping. What I mean by that is that sometimes we get so busy with life that we forget to slow down and recognize some of the amazing things in our life. It can help to pick a quiet time to just think. Sometimes it helps to make a list of things you are grateful for. I find that shutting off the TV and simply going on a walk can help to clear your mind and reconnect you to the things that make you feel grateful.
6)How can this philosophy help you overcome depression?
There are several books and articles that present research that suggests that a regular practice of gratitude can increase your quality of life and help you overcome the effects of negativity and depression. In addition studies demonstrate that a regular practice of gratitude provides increased energy, alertness, enthusiams and vigor. Gratitude inreases your chances of getting to your personal goals. Gratitude provides better states of mind for coping with stress, closure in traumatic situaitons,greater feelings of self-worth, better relationships, improved cardiac health and clarity of thought. As far as science can determine there are no negative side effects for gratitude.
7) Is it possible that some people are so negative that they cannot change?
No matter where a person is in life or what they have experienced they cna make changes for the better. It may not be easy for them as change requires them to let go of their past and beliefs they may have had for a long time. I often use the analogy that change is like trying to hold an ice cub in your hand. It can be uncomfortable and it can take time. But if you have a desire to change it can be done. Does it require help sometimes? Absolutely. The bigger the cahnge or shift the more support that is generally needed. Depending on the scope of the change would determine the size of the help. It may require a few friends or family members all the way to a trained professional. But the good news is that change can happen and there is help available. And the end results can be incredible. You can actually live the life you really want!
8) How has gratitude positively affected your life and why did you decide to take on this philosophy?
My life has been incredibly affected by gratitiude. I think in my early twenties I really took a lot of things for granted. I sort of felt like life just owed me and that everything should work out. I didn’t feel I had to put in my own effort and if things went wrong they weren’t my fault. As I learned to take responsibility I found that I also became more grateful. And the more grateful I became the more I realized that I had more control on my outcomes. As I took control of my outcomes I was able to start creating the life I chose. Since that time I have chosen how I really wanted my life to go. I have chosen how much money I have wanted to make, the job that I want to do, the relationships that I have, the cars I drive, the house I live in… everything. Now I admit things do not always go according to plan. But having a plan and recognizing that I am in control have given me more than waiting and wondering for something good to happen by chance. I no longer take things for granted, I take them as gifts and when you treasure what comes to you, you can build on it to create more.
For more insights see http://www.TheGratitudeExperiment.com and see the movie The Gratitude Experiment.
Douglas Vermeeren has conducted extensive research into the lives of more than 400 of the world’s top achievers. Douglas Vermeeren knows what they did to get to the top and he can show you how. He appears regularly on ABC, FOX, CNN, CTV, CBC and is known as the modern day Napoleon Hill. He is the author of 3 books in the Guerrilla Marketing series and is the creator of the hit personal development films The Opus & The Gratitude Experiment. His results based coaching program MAXIMUM RESULTS is currently among the fastest growing in the nation and franchises are now available in selected markets! If you want to make more money as a coach please contact us. For more information on Doug and his programs go towww.MaximumResultscoaching.com or www.DouglasVermeeren.com
Written by douglasvermeeren
June 25, 2013 at 1:19 am
Posted in Uncategorized
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